Saturday, December 1, 2012

I REALLY hate this whole Rocker Shoe thing. No, it is NOT making your ass look better, STUPID. And these are multiple layers of ugly: the rockerness, blended with faux Birkenstock styling, and then the "let's throw on some metallic paint to make it DRESSY" mandate going on there. Why is it that 90% of the shoes being made today are so ugly. SO. UGLY. I don't understand!?!?!?!?!?!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Damn! That's some ugly shit right there. It's so Corrective Footwear looking. Do they even consult with women outside of the immediate design team, or are they only checking with the staff, who are all contractually obligated to agree that That's a Great Lookin' Shoe, There. Also, I'm offended because this came up in a search for "chelsea boots." Maybe if "abomination" was a search criteria, but the only thing that makes this "chelsea" is the elastic gores, and honey, that ain't enough. Like I said: That's some ugly shit right there.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

So, periodically, I go to the Irregular Choice website and try to find things that DON'T appall me, and I found these:

I really like these; they are very 60's. The rest of the website is terrible.

I mean, THESE?


Or something...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

What is this? A clogwallaby?:

Who is the demographic for this shoe? City campers? Fancy hippies? Yargh.

Big Lady Little Girl

There's a women's shoe design option that I loathe: The Mary Jane. I WANT to get behind it, because some of the best shoes ever designed throughout the 20's to the 70's, well, it's the Mary Janes. HOWEVER, this is what Mary Jane has for us these days: clunky, chunky, SUPREMELY unflattering, and astonishingly juvenile. I find myself in mock concern (or perhaps I have that confused with genuine disdain) for adult women who wear big clompy MJ's because there's an overall sense I have that women who wear them are hanging onto childhood/youth a leeeeetle more tightly than is necessary. If the MJ's are accompanied by kooky rainbow striped socks and a denim skirt and an unmatching striped scarf that ties it all together (which is what most women here would consider appropriate attire for art openings, going out for dinner or going to the opera, because YOUR RODE YOUR BIKE THERE or some shit all Portlandy-like like that).
To illustrate, here are some good 60's ones:

But instead, we get this thrown at us:
Ugly, regressive and P!NK (another rant, saved for a different day). Who wants to dress like a little kid? I sure as hell don't, but that could be because I'm 6 feet tall and I look like an idiot in most shoes, simply based on the size. And, also, I am well into my 40's and I sure as hell don't want to look like a giant lady baby Rory-kon creepus maximus (yes, this IS where my brain goes. I love it and find it amusing. I can go from vague mock outrage to moderate disgust to full excoriation in two paragraphs.), and I don't buy it when other women DO go that way because, basically, I think there is something mentally wrong with you when you, lady, wear too much leopard, rainbow, pink, herro kitty, lacey little girly shit. I mean, check out the effery going on here:
An adult woman should NOT be wearing these shoes.


I have been meaning to update this blog, and then I don't because I forgot, or maybe I just don't shoe shop all that much these days. Anywho, I am going to try to more than once a year.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Fetch me my paper, boy

What I don't get about fashion right now is that there's this effort to do retro, but the reference points are terrible. May I present Mundane 80's: