Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Big Lady Little Girl

There's a women's shoe design option that I loathe: The Mary Jane. I WANT to get behind it, because some of the best shoes ever designed throughout the 20's to the 70's, well, it's the Mary Janes. HOWEVER, this is what Mary Jane has for us these days: clunky, chunky, SUPREMELY unflattering, and astonishingly juvenile. I find myself in mock concern (or perhaps I have that confused with genuine disdain) for adult women who wear big clompy MJ's because there's an overall sense I have that women who wear them are hanging onto childhood/youth a leeeeetle more tightly than is necessary. If the MJ's are accompanied by kooky rainbow striped socks and a denim skirt and an unmatching striped scarf that ties it all together (which is what most women here would consider appropriate attire for art openings, going out for dinner or going to the opera, because YOUR RODE YOUR BIKE THERE or some shit all Portlandy-like like that).
To illustrate, here are some good 60's ones:

But instead, we get this thrown at us:
Ugly, regressive and P!NK (another rant, saved for a different day). Who wants to dress like a little kid? I sure as hell don't, but that could be because I'm 6 feet tall and I look like an idiot in most shoes, simply based on the size. And, also, I am well into my 40's and I sure as hell don't want to look like a giant lady baby Rory-kon creepus maximus (yes, this IS where my brain goes. I love it and find it amusing. I can go from vague mock outrage to moderate disgust to full excoriation in two paragraphs.), and I don't buy it when other women DO go that way because, basically, I think there is something mentally wrong with you when you, lady, wear too much leopard, rainbow, pink, herro kitty, lacey little girly shit. I mean, check out the effery going on here:
An adult woman should NOT be wearing these shoes.

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